The Autism Mom and Motherless Daughter

Adam Mansbach has written a very candid book on children and sleep, "Go the f**k to sleep."  It's as if he knows me or something. The last time I think that I actually slept was the night before I had Adriana, 2006.  Sleep deprivation is no fun and games.  It's probably one of the things that every being needs in their life. So I, of course, don't get any. DJ does not sleep. I'm not kidding nor am I exaggerating.  He's never really slept through the night and I just chalked it up to a phase. But as we approach his 3rd BDay next week, I fear that I nor him will ever sleep. It started out innocently enough. I would hear him in his room awake and he would eventually fall back asleep hours later.  But as he got older, it all changed. Coupled with his not sleeping came the screaming. I'm not talking about crying either. It's screaming, as loud as his lungs allow.  It's very sad to see your child just screaming for no particular reason. Those I...

When I look back at the last year, May 2010 until the present, I say to myself, "Damn! You're still alive and kicking!" It has been a tough one for me personally, especially with DJ. I'm still trying to figure out how to constantly be a model of what I want him to learn and how I'm dying for him to someday be able to speak to me. I'm more fortunate than most parents with a child with special needs. I know how much he loves me, he's very affectionate and loving. But I wonder how this world is when he's looking out at us. Does he want to be part of our world too? He's had a lot of changes this year too. Several new people were introduced in his life and are working towards getting him to the next level. But he's had a great loss too that I feel affects him still to this day. In February 2008, while I was pregnant with DJ, my abuelo passed away.  Needless to say it was devastating, but it was more so for my abuela. She now had to uproot in l...