Boom! Boom!

Before this whole diagnosis thing, we were just a family trying to adjust to each other. I guess after DJ turned a year, I started to realize that there may be something wrong. Working with kids gave me a little more insight into a child's world. I watched DJ for a while as I compared him to Adriana.

I decided to ask his doctor for a referral to Early Intervention. Then came all the evaluations. That was October 2009. The outcome of the first set of evaluations proved that he was fine. Bull! I know he wasn't. At the very least, I knew he had a speech delay. He was silent, too silent.

Then May 31st rolled around and Daisy the psychologist just kicked me in the gut.

On May 31st, DJ received a psychological.  Daisy looked so concerned as she asked me questions in regards to his behavior and observed his current set of behaviors. The evaluation took an hour, tops. Then she said it. "Daniel has pervasive developmental disorder." Huh? Never heard of it. Then she explained it.

Man, oh man.  Cry me a river! I had been a steel wall the entire process. Since October, it was a back and forth, evaluation after evalustion. In my mind, I convinced myself he was fine. Then like an unstable wall, I crumbled. But crying was nothing compared to what occurred a few days later.

While I spent that day hiding out in my room crying all day, Danny left. Was he upset? No. He decided, "let me go outside and BBQ for the neighbors."  The entire day, he stood in our backyard while I felt my whole world shaking. And honey, I was pissed! This jerk off is OUTSIDE! WTF! Why wasn't he with me, crying for DJ? Damn jerk.

Did I mention I was 5 months pregnant at the time? Perhaps the culprit for my intense feelings? Hmm. Things to consider.

There was no time to grieve for DJ. On that Friday, we would find out the sex of our 3rd child. So away we went, Danny, me and my parents. How exciting! Wrong again! I'm on a roll folks.

So at the sonogram for baby #3, there was a lot of hush, hush between the two doctors that were conducting the sonogram. Danny, mom and I exchanged looks of confusion. Then, BOOM! 

"Mrs. Molina, there is a possibility your baby may be born with downs syndrome." Are you kidding me!?! Man how I felt like giving them both a slap! I looked at my mom, then more tears as we both processed what we heard. "Go get my father!"

So they gave me an amnio to determine whether or not baby #3 had downs syndrome, told me to take it easy and call back on Monday for the results.  Take it easy? Clearly I was dealing with two morons.  "Go wait in the waiting room so that you may speak to a genetics counselor." Damn, I can't breath.

Within 5 minutes, I was having a panic attack. I thought I was going to die. "Lord forgive me for all my sins. Take care of my family and bless them with your ever shining light." 
Of course I didnt die. A panic attack is not life threatening but it sure feels that way. Two blows in one week. Yeah me!


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