About a couple of weeks ago, I went to a speech workshop at DJ's school.  The purpose was to help parents get ideas on how to stimulate speech in the home through everyday tasks and play.  I have to admit, I've been feeling defeated because all that I do is not working.  I also think the workshop made me feel worse.

There was a  parent in the audience that was a speech therapist. She's been one for 11 years and similar to me, her son is non-verbal.  She spoke of her difficulties of communicating with her son, of knowing if his needs are being met.  And I thought that if she felt that way, a pro in the field, how am I supposed to feel empowered?  If my 10 plus years in the field of working with children and families were not experience enough for me to get it together.  I cried as she spoke because I haven't met a parent in my same moment, with a non-verbal child.  It's hard to know if you're doing right by them.  A parent works so hard at this and when there is little progress, you just want to give up.

 I didn't get a chance to speak to this parent. I was THAT emotional and I feel that I needed to hide it from my husband. To this day, he's shut down.  I'm at this alone. I read the books, research the information and reach out to the teachers.  And yes, men have a hard time not being able to fix things but we'll fail if we're not united.

So I have a son who can't talk and a husband who won't talk.  And me, I'm lost in this shuffle.


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