"Oh that poor family."

Today I am angry with autism.  The way it has maneuvered its way into the lives of my children and stolen their voices.  How dare it fester in their brains blocking them from making friends, speaking their minds and learning they way they are supposed to learn?

At a time like this, we should be going to stores picking out what they want to wear for the First Day of School but no. I have to make their school decisions, their outfits, their school supplies and the ever beloved picking out of the book bag that will determine their personality for the rest of the year.

Daniel is entering Kindergarten in September and this time is a big deal for parents.  It is the true beginning of their educational career. But for Daniel, whose school placement is still up in the air, it won't be as fun.  He won't make friends, he won't get invited to birthday parties and he won't develop a crush on his teacher.

I am angry at autism because it has made me into an emotional blubbering fool.  It overtakes all of my thoughts, pushed away "friends", and has made my children virtual lepers amongst social events.

Who wants that kid around that screams louder than the "Fat Lady who sings at the Opera?"  The little girl who kicks and screams when the sounds become too loud for her little body to handle? A very select few.

As much as I try to spread awareness, how many people does it actually capture? In the end, the only ones that can relate are those that are living this life.  I'm sick of, "Oh that poor family." It's really insulting.

I am angry with autism because it is an enigma. No one knows how, what, when or why.  I am angry because I still have people say to me, "He's still not talking? What are YOU doing?" "I would make him talk if I were you." As if it were that easy!

Comments like that negate every single thing I have done for the past 3 years, 2 months and 5 days.  1, 162 days we have lived as an autism family. And yet, there will forever be those that continue to spit on all that we do because it's too hard to pick up a book or read an article or even read this blog to know that it is not what you DO. Autism just is.

Comments

  1. I completely agree - as a parent you can work your heart out but all people see is a different child who isn't "normal".
    As a mom of a 3 year old boy with ASD - I know how far we've come since we got our diagnosis, but it still breaks my heart when I see random moms yell at their preschooler to stop "talking so much". Hugs to you!

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