Meltdowns and Meltdowns and Meltdowns. Oh my!


"Welcome to Meltdown City
where the screams are loud
and it just ain't pretty."


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gunsnroses/paradisecity.html


Last weekend was epic, and not in a good way.

DJ began his series of autism safety swimming classes which he got through a scholarship.

I knew DJ would be ecstatic. So throughout the day, I prepared what I would take with me to keep Chloe (and Adriana) occupied while DJ completes his first lesson.  

The lesson brought about the biggest meltdown from both Chloe and DJ that I have ever experienced in all my time. Granted, they have meltdowns. But...

NOT. 

AT. 

THE. 

SAME. 

TIME. 

(This is where having two autistic children gets tricky).

Silly me.  I thought Chloe would be able to handle the fact that her big brother was frolicking in the water as she sat in the bleachers as a spectator. But as she gazed at that pool water longingly, I knew I was going to be in trouble when she uttered the words, "swimming pool."


Man, that girl got a set of pipes on her! 

Kicking, screaming, scratching. 

The air was humid and hot. 

There were people everywhere. 

I was blinded, she knocked my glasses off.

 I was sweating, dripping. Couldn't breath. 

I could see that I lost her in the meltdown when suddenly... it was time for DJ to come out of the pool. 



Many of you may know what it's like to be in the mist of a meltdown. But nothing can prepare you for double meltdown.  Not even me; "Super Mom."

So as I take all of my children to get them in the locker room to change DJ and hightail it out of there, a very reluctant big sister lagged behind us in sheer horror and embarrassment.

In the locker room was when the real "fun" began.

DJ on the floor, screaming, crying, kicking. Refusing to get up.

Chloe standing, slapping, kicking and screaming.  At one point, stepping right on DJ.

Adriana off at a far away bench with a face that read, "I'm not with them."

I sat and tried to control both of them while keeping a watchful eye on Adriana.

And then suddenly, DJ and Chloe are slapping each other! Brawling!  One was trying to get the other to quit it so that they can calm down. But they had set each other off, there was no turning back.  And I just broke down. 

Tears. More than the two of them combined. 

Why was this happening? What steps did I miss that allowed this escalation of emotions to rock this locker room? 

I drifted out of myself as I sat there crying. Then after about 15/20 minutes? something washed over me. I felt another part of me say to myself, "Get up and get it together!"

So I got up, told a screaming Chloe, "Let's go wash your face. We're done crying."  I washed her face, my face. As I calmed down, she calmed down, DJ calmed down.  We were all emotionally and physically exhausted. 

The meltdown came with such a ferocity and then was done!

But the weekend continued with other parallel meltdowns although not as epic as the last but still rattling.

Water, the not being able to splash around in delight until all hours, seems to be the one thing that can trigger both of them at the same time. Who knew?



There is no way of knowing what will trigger a meltdown.  Meltdowns could come with a situation that a child is familiar with or a new situation. It's something that happens. Whenever. Wherever.

And once they are in meltdown mode, their iPad doesn't matter, favorite toy, book, candy. Nothing. 

I beat myself up last week because of it. I was embarrassed and angry, with that day in particular.  

But as I reflected throughout the week, I said to myself, "I did all I could and next time I'll be better prepared." I worked with Chloe the whole week. "DJ swimming pool, yes. Chloe swimming pool, no."  "DJ swimming pool, yes. Chloe swimming pool, no."  "DJ swimming pool, yes. Chloe swimming pool, no."  

Over and over.

Those kids of last weekend didn't even bat an eyelash yesterday. Not a huff, a tear or a whimper.  But this week, I was better prepared.

http://www.autismfile.com/what-is-autism-facts/children-with-autism-facts/calming-meltdowns

http://www.healthcentral.com/autism/c/1443/158733/strategies-calming

http://www.autismspeaks.org/

www.bronxhouse.org

Here are some helpful blogs that offer an array of personal experiences on the autism family:

Nelsec Designs

Bay Area Mocha Autism Network

 http://www.sailingautisticseas.com/




Comments

  1. UnknownAugust 3, 2014 at 8:08 PM

    Oh my!! I can't remember both of my kids melting down simultaneously, but I'm sure it has happened. Hugs!!!!!!!!!! Glad you survived ... with your sense of humor at least slightly intact!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Life Without Grandma

Image
How do you break the news to your children on the autism spectrum that their Grandma has gone to her glory? Daniel When my mother died this past May, I had that question in my mind the entire time. Would Daniel truly understand that his grandmother had died? Would my mother herself visit him in his dreams and tell him she's moved on? Daniel has always been very attached to me. But during his year as a 2nd grader this past school year, he was becoming more independent from me. For us that meant that I could actually leave the house alone without him having a meltdown. I could visit his school without him crying and pulling on me to leave with me once he saw me. But on that horrible day, when he came home from school, he knew something was up with me. Kids like Daniel always get a bad rap. Since he is nonverbal, a lot of people cannot measure how much he truly understands despite my telling them that he understands a lot more than people may think. But what the hell do I
Read more

Meltdowns

It's starting again. The sleepless nights, the sudden fits of rage, the screaming. I always talk myself into thinking that Daniel is progressing and in some areas of his development, he does. Then he has his major setbacks and I feel like I'm back at square one. It feels like it happens overnight, he stops verbalizing, he doesn't want to feed himself and the meltdowns come more frequently than I would like. Before the meltdowns felt as if it was a weekly or  biweekly thing. Now it's about three times a day, everyday.  And all the feelings that I have been suppressing for the past few months, are so overwhelming that I feel like my brain is being crushed from the inside out. I worry about that kid so much, much more than I worry about the girls. Sure Chloe is also on the spectrum and she receives therapy and the whole nine yards but I don't worry about her as much. She's like a nonverbal go getter. I feel like nothing will nor will she let it keep her down. But D
Read more

Another Child, Another Diagnosis

Image
Last  night was one of those nights that I went to bed feeling defeated.  I hadn't done that in a long time.  I've grown accustomed to my situation and this world of autism that is still so baffling.  But for some reason, I got set off again. Last month Chloe got diagnosed with PDD-NOS.  It wasn't a shock to me as I watched her developmental milestones like a hawk since birth sensing something would be wrong with her.  Wrong with her? Is that a proper assessment?  But I just hoped that I would be wrong and she would be ok.  Ok meaning normal? Ok meaning not like Daniel? Now I have two kids on the spectrum and it is a lot to handle for me to handle. Me meaning me. The husband is in denial.  Me, who everyone thinks is so great.  I hate to break it to you folks, I'm not that great. So as I laid in bed thinking about my kids, I just cried and cried and cried. So I've come up with a list as to why I HATE AUTISM: 1.  I hate that it has never given my children la
Read more